Anonymous said: Do you know of any correlation between infj and mental illness?

I wrote a lengthy post about this topic a while ago.

– Hana

Anonymous said: Does anyone else as an INFJ find if relaxing and almost hypnotic to continuously perform a physical movement such as tapping your foot or clicking a pen or tilting your head back and forth?

I have the annoying habit of constantly doing things with my hands, just keeping them busy. It’s not even because I’m nervous or anything. Even when I’m extremely relaxed, hanging out in my pajamas with my best friend and just lying around in bed and drinking tea, I will grab something like a phone and start doing some repetitive motion with it. I don’t know why I do it, I just know I like to keep my hands busy.

Anyways, I can’t tell you if it’s an INFJ thing or not. Probably not because I really can’t think of any cognitive function being connected to that. But I personally can relate.

– Hana

annalgesic said: How can I manage not to take on other's (particularly the people I love) emotions so deeply? Sometimes I hurt so badly for them, taking on their pain to a ridiculous level, that I need to leave them. Resulting in me just resenting myself.

By training your Ti function. Your Fe is letting way too many emotions in, and your Ti isn’t there to sort them out rationally. You will have to consciously try to set borders and not allow them to influence you too much. Try to be rational and analytical about the people you love and ask yourself “Is it really going to be effective for me and them to care too much about their problems?”

– Hana

Anonymous said: Hiiii, I was thinking, as Fe is their secundary function, INFJs are supposed to want to fit in, like worrying about if an outfit is appropiate for a situation... don't you think that's contradictory with INFJ's search for individuality and with their uniqueness? I'd love it if you would clarify it to me. Thank you very much! Have a great day

While the INFJ strives for individuality and meaning they are more concerned about harmony and other people feelings than the average INFP who primarily uses Fi. Some INFJ might have stronger Fe and thus put their own needs and desires on hold while trying to serve others. Some might not. Some might have had experiences in their childhood where they had difficulties fitting in, and react differently to that (some might continue trying to fit in for the rest of their lives while some might consciously rebel against others expectations). An INFJ who developed strong Fi might be more inclined to individuality. There’s many possibilities and variations!

– Hana

Anonymous said: I was just wondering are INFJ's generally not very family orientated people or is it just me? Like I could move across the world by myself and be completely ok with it, I'm just wondering is this because I generally don't get on with my family or is it the fact that I'm naturally extremely independent and feel as if I don't need anyone in life??

Not all INFJs are nurturing people who can’t wait to have their own family. You basically answered your question yourself: You don’t get along with your family and thus you are very independent. An INFJ who grew up in different circumstances might not be comfortable moving across the world by themselves. There are always many factors playing together.

– Hana

Anonymous said: Hiii, do you think it's a INFJ thing knowing better and being wise about life and trying to help people all the time but only to get frustrated cause they won't listen and they will just keep on suffering?

Yes. An INFJ with badly developed functions can be very judgmental and dismiss other’s before taking the time to understand them. When your Ni overtakes your personality and Fe only serves Ni you might find yourself judging others and not taking a step back to evaluate your own actions. Ariel used the very fitting expression "I care about you that’s why I am telling you this” in her description of toxic Fe.

– Hana

Anonymous said: Hello! I'm an INFJ and I was wondering if it's a trait of ours to be able to adapt our outer personalities in accordance to those around us? It's kind of strange, but I sometimes feel like I'm always trying to meet their needs and I can't all the time. It can get exhausting. Thanks and you have an awesome blog!

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: yes, that is your Fe at work. And it might be working too much. INFJs are susceptible to other people’s needs and emotions and might feel like they need to keep everybody happy. They end up putting everybody before themselves, which is simply unhealthy.

Try to be more critical when it comes to evaluation other people’s needs. Use your Ti function to be more rational about them. Ask yourself “Can I really help this person effectively or will I end up giving up too much of myself?”

– Hana

Anonymous said: How INFJ can recognize that is in romantic love? I think INFJ loves everyone, they are selfless, so how they (and I) can spot the difference?

I can’t answer this in general because there are surely INFJs out there who can easily tell if they’re in love.

But I think what you’re describing is the feeling of not being easily attracted to someone in the typical sense. For you, love may develop out of friendship and a deep understanding of each other. And that takes time. But once you are in love, I think you will know it because it is a simply unique feeling.

– Hana

Anonymous said: This is something about myself that I both love and hate: I tend to overestimate people. I just really love people and see the best in everyone. Even when people hurt my feelings, I am super quick to forgive. This can be bad, because I end up befriending people and overlook many practical flaws, because I just think everyone's so wonderful- even if they aren't as great as I make them out to be. I was curious if other INFJs ever feel the same. Thank you.

Well you sound like you have very strong Fe, and a kind heart. As you say, that is both positive and negative. It leaves you vulnerable but I think it’s great that you are aware of it and honestly, I wish there were more people would try seeing the best in others!

– Hana

Anonymous said: I've taken multiple tests of these sorts, and I always received INFJ. I can relate to all of the photos on here -- but is it normal for an INFJ to feel as if they have a bigger meaning on Earth? As if, a significant role in something? I've always felt this way. And also, is it normal to desire the idea of friends and people but feel alone if you have friends?
  1. Welcome to the club.
  2. The INFJs Ni function (introverted intuition) makes them strive for the big picture in the future, and this may be the source of your desire for meaning and significance.
  3. Yes, it is normal. Everybody wants to have friends and people they are close to, but introverted people will prefer deep and meaningful relationships and may often feel lonely if their relationships with others are superficial.

– Hana

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